Artist's Statement:

There are two types of paintings I make. The first are images that come to me as flashes in my mind and i do my best to paint them into reality, from imagination and probably the subconscious dream world. I use references and knowledge because I don't have the privilege of paying models. The second are more recent paintings that have to do with my struggle to find meaning, strength, direction, and faith in something, in my life. My search has led me to exploring Christianity as a faith, due to the pain I feel when I put my faith in anything Earthly that quickly passes away or leaves me with a feeling of emptiness. Christianity was the faith I was brought up in as a youth, and one that I feel most comfortable with, due to the teachings and life of Jesus Christ, and other guiding principles of the Bible, mainly a guide on how to live a fulfilling and righteous life.

I am probably the last person you would ever expect to even consider Christianity due to my agnosticism and unbelief in miracles, but I feel like I am missing something without this faith as I try to fill this hole that God has given us...with other people, money, selfish ambitions, or other worldly pleasures that are a temporary fix for that , as i call it "hole". The preachers say that that the void or hole is one that was created by God to be filled with a relationship with Him. Regardless of the faith you choose,( I'm not going to condemn non Christians) I do believe that this hole has to be filled with something spiritual, even though that would be such a struggle for the non believing atheist. I was getting along ok in my life, as an agnostic/atheist before I started to explore Christianity, or so I thought, but great mental pain, depression, severe anxiety, and poverty (I won't go into the too too personal details), has brought me to my desperate knees in search of something solid in the turmoil of my life. I believe that the only people who really even seriously consider Christianity or a faith in God, or a strong dedication to it are the people who are either raised as children in it, or those that are brought to their knees in suffering like I have been, struggling to survive or stay afloat, looking for some anchor or hope in their life.

I believe it is this pain that is meant to draw people near to God. I chose Christianity and the teachings of Jesus Christ. This has not "fixed" me necessarily, because I am still new to this, but as I read the Bible more and listen to the preacher Charles Stanley, I am more inspired to paint biblical images, and biblical portraits, such as "Isolation of Judas", representing the fear and isolation Judas must have felt after he betrayed Christ, and the isolation I feel as a new believer struggling with doubt in my new faith, Judas later committed suicide. My desire to paint strictly "images that come to my head as flashes" has lessened greatly, my desire to paint the world's various problems and dilemmas or political agendas has lessened greatly. My desire to paint the stories of the Bible or illustrations that have profound meaning has increased greatly.

These paintings are not just for Christians, they are for anyone who feels lost and wants to consider looking for something greater than themselves to believe in, something not found in a lover, a friend, a car, houses, boats, loads of money, pleasure, etc etc., for all these things are passing and can be lost leaving you once again, alone and in pain. Aloneness and anxiety, and dealing with it is also a theme in my paintings. The darkness, or the somber color, is used for that, but the light parts of it, are used to represent hope in this darkness I feel. I believe Rembrandt had the same idea. The hardest part of this is, that you can't "see" God, you have to have faith, that is the hardest part for me, since I always wanted proof. But I believe in time I will have more faith. As I said before, many people will not think they need anything, until all that they have or those they love are taken away. That is how pain brings people to consider a faith, otherwise, they may read this and have no idea what I mean.

My landscapes are inspired by the American Hudson River School painter Thomas Cole. They represent the awesome awe inspiring creativity and power of God. They are a fantastic escape from the cities and urban stress that is around me and others. There is great freedom in them. There is also a great loneliness in them, because when I moved to where there are no people, and saw such great beauty and heard a great silence in the air, I realized that people are more beautiful than nature, and that a city with people can be more comforting than the greatest majestic mountain. It is your state of mind, and often how you see others in relation to yourself. So there are a few meanings really, sometimes conflicting, , one of loneliness, one of escapism or freedom, one of the power and awe inspiring creativity of God, and one of the paradise that one could experience on Earth, or a sight of Heaven. As you view the landscape, the option you choose is due to your experience and where you've been in your life.